1) Collaboration is, well, hard — Why, just the other day, a partner at my firm emotionally exclaimed during a meeting, “Our employees don’t HAVE to think, they just have to LISTEN TO ME AND DO WHAT I TELL THEM!” When another partner suggested that this was rather Hitlerian, and that our people aren’t dogs, he shouted back, “IT’S MY COMPANY AND I’M HITLER, AND THEY ARE DOGS! THEY SHOULD COWER WHEN I WALK AROUND!”

2) Thinking is also, well, hard — I don’t want to harp on my current firm, but another senior partner’s ongoing language….uh….challenges are kept in a small notebook by his secretary, a running tally of just how….uh….challenging thinking about things is for some people. He recently asked her what U.S. states make up “New England”, how to spell the word, ‘taco”, and was insulted when several female employees complained that his overuse of words ending in “ck” have offended them and clients alike. So I think that the idea that certain cultural, geographic and language knowledge basics central for thinking are “in common”, or should be at certain levels, is nice but may in fact be wrong, confusing to people, or just too dang difficult.

3) Working is, well, to be perfectly honest, hard — In these crazy, it’s-all-about-me days with multiplying digital distractions, we all face a myriad of entertainment possibilities at the click of our interconnected fingers. Do we really have to ask all those questions, have all those meetings, and do all those ‘process maps” or “customer ethnographies”? The answer is: NO! Which frees up more time for me and my entertainment needs, and that means there’s one more happy, entertained person on the planet. Who, then, really needs branding?

This is a program that I’m certain meets the pressing needs of so many dull, entitled, and uncooperative Americans that it’s sure to take off in a big way. All I can say is “Voolium Dabzoom” to you!

[ Keep up the great work. Love and read your stuff always. Best, Paul ]